Yesterday I did something crazy.  I found myself in a state of worry, and the ANTs (Automatic Negative Thoughts) started marching into my head in massive numbers, and I chose to let them come.

Thoughts like, “how will you ever get all that done?” and “you know you’ll end up putting it off until the last minute; why bother doing it any sooner?” and “if you could have succeeded at that, you WOULD have by now…” and it went from bad to worse from there.

I realized what was happening, and remembered, that I had a choice about thinking those thoughts, and about allowing in the negative feelings they brought with them.  I even knew exactly which energy and attitude shifting tool I could use to easily change what was happening.  (It was a simple breathing and EFT tapping sequence – I’ll post the 2-3 min video here on the blog shortly, so check back).

Here’s the crazy part:  I ignored my own inner wisdom in favor of wallowing in the negativity I was creating.  Why did I do that?  I’ve spent the last 9 years teaching people how NOT to do that, and giving them tools to intentionally choose and focus on what they WANT, and here I was, doing the opposite.  Hmmmm…

That’s when I realized the truth.  Sometimes we CHOOSE to stay in resistance to what would be life-giving and helpful.  Sometimes we CHOOSE to be unhappy.  After having this experience, I remembered why.  Here are my top 3 reasons to choose to be unhappy:

1.  Because there is a payoff for staying in the negative state - Can I escape responsibility this way?  Do I get attention or affection from someone else because I seem to need help?  Does it feel safe or familiar, even if it’s also uncomfortable?

2.  Because we’re afraid of who we will be without that old negative pattern - Am I afraid of my own greatness?  Will my friends and family like the new, capable authentic me? Can I really just drop my old patterns like a hot coal?

3.  Because an old belief about not being worthy or lovable has re-surfaced – Do I really deserve to be happy?  If people really knew me, would they think I’m a fraud?  Don’t I have to DO something or PRODUCE something in order to be loved, worthy or be approved of?

For me, I was having some old regret surface from the past  – a case of the “if only I had…” blues.  The truth is, we can’t change the past; all we have is the present moment, and that’s where we get to choose.

I did eventually choose to shift my energy and move into harmony with “what is,” and here’s the lesson I learned:  It’s not important how long you can stay in a peaceful centered state, it’s about honoring whatever comes up, and being willing to take a look at the message that resistance is sending you.  Once the message is received, it’s much easier to move into the state of being you want.

Maybe choosing to be unhappy once in a while is the key to unlocking your resistance!