Stress Free Girl Goes from Sad to Glad
How can we move out of pain and back to peace?
Today is a perfect example. I woke up feeling crabby, and ended up spreading that around until it infected my husband too. That snowballed into my getting triggered (emotionally) by some little comment he made,
which in turn put me on a slippery slope to feeling a pretty deep sadness, and heaviness on my heart. Here I am, the Stress Free In 7 Minutes Girl, and I needed a lifeline, now!
This whole cascade from thought, to trigger event to emotional pain took only moments to happen, but since I’ve been there before, I at least knew there WAS a lifeline out there somewhere. I just had to overcome my resistance to grabbing it.
Sometimes, it feels good to feel bad! So, I started asking what are the payoffs here? Is there any good reason for feeling this way?
Right away, I realized that one payoff is that when I’m sad I get to let go of responsibilities, so I can take care of myself. This can be a good thing, or it can be a great way to avoid doing something that scares you – something that feels big, or out of your comfort zone. (Bingo!! in my case)
It can also be a warning from deep inside that you are not honoring yourself, or your mind and body’s need for rest and reflection, or for something else you need but are not getting.
It can be a cry for attention and love – how are you doing at giving these things to yourself? (Bingo again!)
So, back to the lifeline. I began to notice the way I was sitting, and how these emotional feelings were affecting my body. I noticed that I was crossing my legs more, and looking down a lot more than usual.
I was rolling my shoulders in – as if I needed to protect my heart – which is exactly what it felt like I was doing. My breathing was very shallow.
So noticing and awareness is first. Once I noticed, I stopped and took several deep breaths. It wasn’t about “making it go away;” it was about finding out why it had come in the first place, and what the sadness wanted me to know right now.
After taking the deep breaths, I changed my physical posture. I uncrossed my arms and legs, looked out ahead instead of down, and relaxed my shoulders to open my chest.
To honor the feeling of vulnerability, I also put a hand on my heart. I just kept breathing normally for a few minutes, just noticing where I felt things in my body, just being quiet.
Then, I asked these questions:
What do I need to release? (Answer for me: old beliefs from the past; thinking I had to earn love).
What must be renewed? (answer for me: faith in myself; unconditional love; trust that grace always comes).
I followed this with some brief journaling, and some stretching and Qi Gong. Total time elapsed: about 20 minutes (10 of which was spent in moving out of resistance to using the technique!!)
Please leave your comments, and to assist yourself and others, write in 3 endings to one of the following sentences:
When I let go of resistance, I feel so ….
If I were to take responsibility for my own happiness, I would …
(thanks to Tom Volkar, at www.DelightfulWork.com for the sentence exercise inspiration!)