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Certainty - The Mother of All Stress-Busters

Wednesday, September 2nd, 2009

Certainty.  Say it out loud.  Imagine for a moment that you have certainty.  You are certain everything is going to be OK – that you are fundamentally OK, safe, loved, powerful, capable, loving, able to speak your truth,  able to trust your intuition and guidance from your own Higher Self, connected deeply to ALL That Is, capable of living your life in a state of peace and ever-expanding bliss.

Tony Robbins recently interviewed two Internet marketing geniuses, both multi-millionaires, successful in the “real world” as some like to call it.  I have met one of these men personally, Fran Kern. He’s funny, irreverent, enjoys playful swearing, surfing and making lots of money trying to help others learn to do what he does so they can have more freedom, time and money.  He is also compassionate, aware and deeply spiritual in his own way. 

Frank embodies certainty, not because he is certain that everything  he tries is going to work, but because he can ignore the “little voices” in his head from past mistakes, societal expectations, and negativity in general.  He has certainty, because he chooses to focus on his intention – seeing a thing as done, and himself jumping up and down at the finish line.  This picture is so real to him in his mind that the most natural thing IS to take action toward it, without fear.  The outcome is assured, even if the how-to isn’t perfectly understood before he starts.

In the interview, Tony Robbins draws a map explaining why people do or don’t  take action, even if it’s in their best interest, and it all starts with Certainty.
Here is the map, with a couple of my own additions:

certainty_cycle

Certainty is the starting place, what Tony calls “Potential.”  He’s asking us to consider – what is the potential of this human being?  What do I believe about my own potential?  How certain do I feel that I can do this thing, live this way, invite in the life I want?  He says that when people are certain that doing something will change their lives, they WILL take action.

When a person is certain – in the mindset of “I know I can do it; I will find a way,” it becomes easy to take action, the next step in the cycle, because it feels good, and the results are guaranteed with your own certainty.  Actions, especially inspired and passionate ones, produce results.  Once you see the results, your belief in what you are doing gets even stronger, leading to even greater certainty!

I’ve added the step  of Celebration,  really as a second part of Results, because I find that celebrating what worked, makes me want to do more of it.

So, how do you produce certainty, especially when that little voice in your head is running movies about how things didn’t work out so well in the past?  Tony says the trick is to get the results you want in your head first.  This does apply to business, marketing, and material success, but the same principle is excellent for your Spiritual path.  In fact, I would say these two things are tied together in ways most people never even think about. 

The idea is to see the results in advance, as vividly as you can, and to practice this visualization every day, and even several times per day if you need to.  It’s a way to re-wire your brain, and let go of old patterns of thinking, or habits of belief, that probably weren’t even yours in the first place!
There’s one twist I’d like to add: from a spiritual perspective, you’re not adding anything new.  You already ARE a magnificent being of light, capable of incredible, even miraculous things.  This is your birthright gift – you came here with it.  What we’re trying to do is to uncover this radiant being that you are, so you can experience the life you came here to live, and share the Love with others.

Stop telling yourself the story entitled “Why I Cannot Be At Peace Now,” and step into the realization that being at peace can only happen NOW, in this moment (paraphrased from Eckhart Tolle’s New Earth).

In the end, it’s all about happiness, and consciously choosing your state of being in each moment.  Certainty lives in the Here and Now, and has nothing to do with the past, yours or someone else’s.  Start seeing yourself, vividly, as the amazing person you are, certain,  capable, worthy of love and riches of all kinds, at ease and feeling good on the inside, no matter what’s happening on the outside. 

As Eckhart Tolle says, in The Power of Now, once you stop resisting what is (whether “good or “bad”) you end the suffering.  Whether the situation changes or not, you are still free.  The cool things is, when we finally see ourselves as the beautiful beings we really are, our outer lives end up looking pretty good too – that’s what I call a win-win :)

“Counter Intention” The Root of Self-Sabotage

Friday, May 8th, 2009

What the heck is “counter intention?”  I just heard Dr. Joe Vitale being interviewed by Mark Joyner on one of the “5 missing secrets” not revealed in the movie, The Secret, and this really caught my attention.  People interested in the Law of Attraction, or even in just setting meaningful goals to improve their lives usually start out by setting an intention.  We consciously decide what is it we’d like to do, be or have, and then look for results.

We’ve all been through this process, but why is it that we so often fall far short of what we intended?  We may have visualized our success, felt ourselves living the desired outcome, taken some of the needed actions and so on, but there is something we can easily miss, and it’s the key to actually arriving at the goal, whether that’s better health, relationships, or financial success.  It’s the little thing Joe is calling “counter intention.”

Counter Intention is a belief or thought pattern we hold which is in direct opposition to our stated conscious intention.  Where does it live?  It lives buried in our unconscious mind, so we are not even aware of it!  We get hints that it is there when we tune in to those little voices in our heads whose message is discouraging - it says things like “you may want to have a flat stomach, but I want to eat chocolate cake,” or “you can’t start your own business - it’s too much work and you’ll run out of money…” - you get the idea.

The problem is that these beliefs which live in our non-conscious minds have incredible power.  In fact, the non-conscious mind is the driver behind almost all of what we do, and if we do not clear, release and change these beliefs, these counter intentions will win out over the stated intention.  Feels kind of hopeless, doesn’t it?  But it doesn’t have to be.  Changing it starts with awareness that you have these limiting beliefs.  Once you become aware of a limiting belief, the next step is to find an effective way to dissolve it and release it.

There are many effective ways to do this, but for now, I’ll leave you with one you can use today.  Grab a piece of paper and a pen, and at the top of the page, write your belief, such as, “I can’t be Spiritual and want money.”  In the spirit of being transparent with you, I will say that I can occasionally STILL get tripped up by this one, so I’m sharing tools I have used myself, which have worked powerfully for me.  The key is to begin questioning these beliefs, without making them right or wrong, good or bad, and just having an open and curious attitude while you ask the questions. 

The questions here are inspired by Byron Katie (The Work), The Sedona Method, and Effort Free Life, all of which are fantastic methods for clearing and releaseing beliefs that no longer serve you.  Here are the questions:

1.  Is this belief true?  Can I prove absolutely that it is true?   For the belief above, I came to an answer of No, since I personally know numerous people who are deeply spiritual and incredibly wealthy.  In fact, I can prove this one false for myself.

2.  Who would I be without the thought, ” I can’t be spiritual and want lots of money?”   I would be light-hearted, more free to express Who I Really Am in unlimited ways, whether wealthy or not.  I would be more recpetive and willing to allow the Universe to shower me with gifts, just as I want to shower others with gifts.

3.  Could I let this go?  (Do I want to continue believing something that does not serve me?)   If the answer is Yes, just allow it to leave, and move on to #4.  If the answer is No, then ask : “Would I rather have this belief, or would I rather be free?”  In my case, it felt like a no-brainer - I would rather be FREE!  But either way, be kind to yourself, and just allow whatever the response is to just be there.  Be curious about it, and don’t push - often a new insight will come, and after a break, come back to the questions again.

4. Would I let his go?  When?  In my case, with this belief, I said, “Now!”  I usually feel a sense of relief and energy being released.  I feel lighter and happier, almost instantly.  If you do have resistance, just take your time, possibly let it rest for a while, and come back to it in a few hours, or on another day.

5.  Choose a new belief to take its place - something that will support your highest good - your heart’s desires and your greater purpose.  In my case, the new belief is “Money is a tool given by God which helps me serve more people and have more fun, which  allows me to share even more.”

This is what I love to do the most - help people to release whatever is causing them to be their own worst enemies.  My goal is to help people end self-sabotage forever, so they can deliver their gifts to the world and enjoy a life of ease, freedom and grace.  If you would like to work with me one on one (by phone), please call or email to set up an appointment - i want you to have what you really want!  kgrace@energyexpress.com  612-824-7797   

 

Here’s

Lower Stress and Pay It Forward

Friday, March 27th, 2009

Helping others is a known way to move out of stress, worry and even depression.  Reaching out, even if you’re not in the greatest shape yourself can be the best thing you do for yourself.  Here’s a great twist on this idea - an amazing story of people helping a whale in trouble. 

Before you start reading it, notice your state of mind right now.   When you’re finished reading it, you’re likely to notice you’ve forgotten your own problems, at least for a few minutes.  You may find yourself smiling, and relaxing your shoulders for the first time today.  For myself, doing something good for someone else (or even for an animal friend) has almost magical healing powers.  I forget about whatever was bothering me;  I am in the present moment, just trying to be of service, and it feels great.

Here’s the story:

A 2005 front page story of the San Francisco Chronicle told the true story of a humpback whale who had become entangled in a spider web of crab traps and lines.  She was weighted down by hundreds of pounds of traps that caused her to struggle to stay afloat. She also had hundreds of yards of line rope wrapped around her body, her tail, her torso, and a line tugging in her mouth.

A fisherman spotted her just east of the Farallon Islands (outside the Golden Gate ) and radioed an environmental group for help.
Within a few hours, the rescue team arrived and determined that she was so bad off, the only way to save her was to dive in and untangle her.  They worked for hours with curved knives and eventually freed her.  When she was free, the divers say she swam in what seemed like joyous circles.

 

Whale Thank-You

Whale Thank-You

She then came back to each diver, one at a time, and nudged them, pushed them gently around ~ she was thanking them.  Some said it was the most incredibly beautiful experience of their lives.

The guy who cut the rope out of her mouth said her eyes were following him the whole time, and he will never be the same.  May you, and all those you love, be so blessed and fortunate to be surrounded by people who will help you get untangled from the things that are binding you.  And may you always know the joy of giving and receiving gratitude.  

I love this story!  Happiness and peace  is as close as lending a hand, and even reading  stories like this.  As Tony De Mello said, “No one can be grateful and unhappy at the same time.”  Wishing you much happiness.  Pass it on!

Stress Tips For Fears About Losing Your Home Or Job

Thursday, March 19th, 2009

With all the headlines screaming about how bad the economy is, it’s hard NOT to have some fears about losing your job, home or income, or being afraid for family members or friends who might.  These fears and anxieties cause major stress, affecting your health, mood, work and relationships.

So, what can you do about them?  Sometimes your life situation IS tough, and the danger of loss may be quite real.  For others, it’s still a worried “what-if” that hasn’t happened yet.  Here are some things you can do right now to address feelings of fear, worry or anxiety, no matter what your actual situation is.

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Stress-Free Decision Making

Friday, February 20th, 2009

Have you ever had a tough time making a decision?  Maybe you’ve had a gut feeling, or an intuition, but have felt unsure about following it.  How do you know when it’s just your mind talking, and when it’s solid intuition you can trust?

How do you know if it’s your Higher Self talking?  I just made a 4.5 minute audio of a decision making process I use to answer that question once and for all - so I can trust that the decisions I make are coming from the best part of myself, not just worry or mind chatter.  It’s an “Audio Postcard” and you can listen to it here:      Audio Postcard

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