I just read a great blog post over on Delightful Work,  my coach Tom Volkar’s blog.  It got me thinking about what love is, especially authentic love.

DO check out his post and the comments – very juicy and revealing:   Jumping to Conclusions in Love and Work

Authentic love, in my book, does not make someone else responsible for my happiness by requiring something specific of the other.

I choose to love them without conditions, or I don’t.

In the spirit of Spring and with Wedding Season upon us, I decided to share the wedding vows my husband Michael and I wrote. (Parts of it were inspired by Neale Donald Walsch’s wedding vows in the Conversation with God book series).

Enjoy, and please leave your comments!

Minister Dan:   Michael & Kay have not come here today to make a solemn promise or to exchange a sacred vow.  Michael & Kay have come here to declare their love in the presence of friends and family.

They are here to honor their choice to live and grow together, always evolving to the highest expression of love they can possibly imagine.

We’ll begin by asking, why get married?

Michael & Kay have answered this question for themselves, and now I ask them again, so they can be sure of their answer, certain of their understanding, and steadfast in their commitment to the truth they share.

Michael & Kay, you have told me it is your understanding that you are not entering into this marriage for reasons of security…

… that the only real security is not in owning or possessing one another,

… not in demanding, or expecting, and not even in hoping, that what you think you need in life will be supplied by the other…

… but rather, that security is in knowing that everything you need in life,

…all the love, all the wisdom, all the strength, all the insight, all the understanding, all the nurturing, all the compassion, resides within you,

…and that you are not each marrying the other in hopes of getting these things, but in hopes of giving these gifts, that the other might have them in even greater abundance.

Is that your clear understanding today?

Michael & Kay: It is.

Dan: And Michael & Kay, you have told me it is also your clear understanding that you are not entering into this marriage as a means of in any way limiting each other,

…that instead you will honor any true expression or celebration of your authentic selves which brings you joy.

Is that still your clear understanding today?

Michael & Kay: It is.

Dan: Michael & Kay, you have also said that you do not see marriage as creating obligations, but rather as providing opportunities…

…opportunities for growth, for full self-expression, for lifting your lives to their highest potential, for healing every false thought or small idea you ever had about yourself, and for ultimate reunion with God through the communion of your two souls.

Is that the vision you wish to enter into now?

Michael & Kay: It is.

Dan: What symbols do you bring as a reminder of this vision of Love you’re entering into today?

Ian gives rings to Dan.

Dan: Now Michael & Kay, please take these rings you wish to give to each other.

Kay (holding Michael’s ring):

From the metals of the earth, folded steel once meant for swords, is now a symbol of unending love and peace.

Michael (holding Kay’s ring):

From the heart of the earth, 2 bright diamonds, once dark coal, are now a symbol of unending love and light.

Dan: Michael, please repeat after me:

M: I, Michael, ask you, Kay, to be my lover, my friend and my wife.

I promise to love you Kay; with all my heart… until I don’t….because love is unlimited, eternal and free.

I do not choose to bind you to me in this marriage, but instead to declare our lives to be an amazing, sacred playground to learn together what love is.

I seek to create and discover with you Kay, love that is unbounded and infinitely kind, playful, rowdy, blissful, generous, free, forgiving, supporting, peaceful, healthy and positive.

I promise never to make you responsible for my happiness, but to create and nurture my own happiness from the inside out, and to share that joy with you.

Kay, when I am with you, a peace comes over me that I know nowhere else but in nature. Every time I think I cannot love you any more, I go higher, giving and receiving more love than I’ve ever known.

There have been times when you have led the way for me, out of darkness and into the light. You taught me power, surrender, trust and ecstasy. You’ve helped me become more the man I want to be.

In your love I have found deep peace. With you I can be silent because no words are needed to make the connection. There are so many levels of love, and in your eyes I see them all. I see the God in you, looking out… at the God in me.

Kay, I do not seek to bind you to me for eternity, for we are already bound as spiritual beings, as all beings are, one with God.

Instead, I choose to love, honor and uplift you in body, mind and spirit, in this life and beyond, where we will meet, remember, and love again.

As our two souls are drawn more and more to God, to the One, through the eyes of Love, fear disappears, and the world is revealed again as the Paradise it has always been.

Dan: Kay, do you choose to honor Michael’s request that you be his wife?

Kay: I do.

Dan: Now, Kay, repeat after me:

Kay: I, Kay, ask you Michael, to be my lover, my friend, and my husband.

I promise to love you Michael, with all my heart… until I don’t….because love is unlimited, eternal and free.

I do not choose to bind you to me in this marriage, but instead to declare our lives to be an amazing, sacred playground to learn together what love is.

I seek to create and discover with you Michael, love that is unbounded and infinitely kind, playful, rowdy, blissful, generous, free, forgiving, supporting, peaceful, healthy and positive.

I promise never to make you responsible for my happiness, but to create and nurture my own happiness from the inside out, and to share that joy with you.

Michael, every day I feel your powerful love for me, and I am forever grateful for the way you believe in me and support me in everything I do. I love the way you guide me back to the present moment with a look or the touch of your hand.

With you I have found the courage to be myself at last. I am learning to love and let myself be loved, and to embrace the beauty of being a woman. With you, I am home.

In your love I have found deep peace. With you I can be silent because no words are needed to make the connection. There are so many levels of love, and in your eyes I see them all. I see the God in you, looking out… at the God in me.

Michael, I do not seek to bind you to me for eternity, for we are already bound as spiritual beings, as all beings are, one with God.

Instead, I choose to love, honor and uplift you in body, mind and spirit, in this life and beyond, where we will meet, remember, and love again.

As our two souls are drawn more and more to God, to the One, through the eyes of Love, fear disappears, and the world is revealed again as the Paradise it has always been.

Dan: Michael, do you choose to honor Kay’s request that you be her husband?

Michael: I do.

Dan: Please, both of you, hold the rings you would give each other, and repeat after me:

K & M: With this ring, I thee wed, and give to you a symbol of my undying love, a love without boundaries or limitations.

May all who see this ring be reminded that Love is all there is.

Dan: We recognize that no church, or any power vested in me by the State can give me the authority to create the sacred union of marriage; only Kay & Michael can do that, by declaring this soul connection from their hearts.

So now, as you, Kay, and you, Michael, have spoken your truth that God has led your two lives to take one path, we, your friends and family, now witness joyfully that you have declared yourself to be… husband and wife.